Why Traumatic Grief Feels Different in the Body
Grief is often described as an emotional experience—but when loss is traumatic, it often becomes a more visceral, full-body experience.
Many people seeking trauma-informed grief therapy are surprised by how physical traumatic grief feels: constant tension, exhaustion that doesn’t improve with rest, sudden waves of panic, numbness, or disconnection. After traumatic loss, It may feel like you’re at the whim of your body and unable to come up for air.
If this resonates, there is nothing wrong with you. Traumatic grief affects the nervous system, and your body is doing exactly what it learned to do to survive the unimaginable pain and confusion of loss.
What Is Traumatic Grief?
Traumatic grief occurs when a loss is sudden, overwhelming, violent, or layered with fear, helplessness, or unfinished business. This can include unexpected deaths, witnessed losses, or grief intertwined with prior or recent traumatic experiences — but it can also include ambiguous, disenfranchised, or cumulative losses.
Unlike grief that unfolds gradually, traumatic grief often bypasses the brain’s meaning-making systems and moves straight into the body’s survival responses. This is why it can feel like we’re thrown out of orbit or unable to regain a sense of stability post-loss.
Instead of only missing what was lost, your nervous system may be bracing against danger (danger of physical harm, danger of continued losses, etc.)—even when you’re physically safe.
How Trauma and Grief Interact in the
Nervous System
When something traumatic happens, the nervous system shifts into survival mode: fight, flight, freeze, or collapse. In traumatic grief, this state can linger long after the loss itself.
You might notice:
Feeling constantly on edge or hypervigilant
Difficulty sleeping or fully relaxing
Sudden surges of panic, grief, or anger without a clear trigger
Emotional numbness or disconnection from your body
A sense that time has collapsed—memories feel present, not past
This isn’t a failure to cope. It’s a nervous system responding exactly as it was designed to in the face of threat and loss.
Why Talking About It Isn’t Always Enough
Many people looking for grief counseling or EMDR therapy in Seattle feel frustrated when traditional advice doesn’t help. You may have been told to “process your feelings,” “stay positive,” or “move forward”—yet your body doesn’t seem to get the message.
That’s because trauma isn’t stored as a story alone. It’s held in sensations, reflexes, posture, breath, and implicit memory. Until the nervous system feels enough safety, the body may continue to respond as if the loss—or danger—is still happening.
This is why trauma-informed grief therapy often includes somatic and nervous system–based approaches that work with the body, not against it.
Common Ways Traumatic Grief Shows Up in the Body
Traumatic grief can look different for everyone, but common physical experiences include:
Chronic fatigue or heaviness
Tightness in the chest, throat, or jaw
Gastrointestinal distress or appetite changes
Headaches, muscle pain, or frequent illness
Feeling disconnected, foggy, or “outside” your body
These symptoms can be frightening—especially when they don’t seem to match your current circumstances. They are signs of prolonged nervous system stress, not personal weakness.
Trauma-Informed Grief Therapy in Seattle, WA
One of the hardest parts of traumatic grief is the pressure—internal or external—to heal quickly. But the body doesn’t move on a timeline. It moves toward safety.
If you’re navigating traumatic grief and noticing that your body feels constantly activated, shut down, or overwhelmed, support can make a meaningful difference. In my approach to trauma counseling in Seattle, I focus on helping the nervous system gradually release what was overwhelming. Approaches such as EMDR, somatic therapy, and expressive arts therapy support the body in metabolizing trauma so grief can integrate rather than remain stuck in survival mode.
